1st Day of Kindergarten

I was watching her play outside; joyfully, without a care in the world, giggling her heart out when it first happened. Sadness began to creep slowly across my heart and a heavy sinking feeling starting to make its way to my stomach.  I have felt this pain before, but it caught me off guard this time. I thought I was prepared for this, and by round three this was going to be a breeze.

 You see, I’ve already sent two other children off to kindergarten for their first day of school, and while it was hard, I quickly found great joy in watching their love for making friends and learning that I realized everything was as it should be.

So why is this pain and hurt creeping through my spirit again? Maybe it’s because I have been a mother to a preschooler for the last decade; having a precious babe by my side for more hours than I can count (my little side-kicks, as I like to call them). Maybe, it’s because she is my last and I am grieving the goodbye to ten joyful and precious years of being a stay-at-home MOP.  Maybe, my heart is just so full of gratitude that my God would grant me three beautiful gifts to nurture, love, and mother—that my heart and (eyes) can’t hold back the love that spills out.

Yes, they are tears of love; tears of thankfulness, joy, sweet memories, and God’s grace.

I can’t promise the tears won’t continue to fall out. I will do everything in my power to hide them on the first day of school from my most excited little kindergartner.  I wouldn’t dare want to dim her light. But, if you see me linger for one last look and discreetly wipe a tear from my eye, (or have a complete melt down in my car) when I say good bye- know that my tears are full of love and joy. Tears of sheer gratitude that an all loving, grace-giving God would grant me such precious treasures to love, hold, and cherish.

“Thank you Lord Jesus for these precious little ones you entrusted in my care. They are yours, not mine, and I will trust them in your watch care all the days of their lives.  I thank you for the change of seasons, and stages of life. I will choose gratitude over sadness. I will find joy in each new season of my children’s life and praise you for the little people you are creating them to be. I will rejoice as they grow and walk in your ways. Lord you are so good and your love endures forever. . . .Thank you for the tears. They are reminders of great love.”

~Katy Roberts

8-6-16

Heavy Burden

Three nights in a row the Lord has awoken me with the desire to pray deeply for a friend. She is a friend that is going through a nightmare. At least, what I consider to be a nightmare. She seemingly has very few to confide in and the weight of what she is going through is very heavy. I awake and I pray. I pray for peace and comfort and perseverance. I pray for God’s deliverance and rescue. I yearn for my prayers to be answered swiftly. I ache to help carry her load.

Through my prayers for my friend, the Lord has continuously reminded me of Moses. Do you remember the story of the Israelites being attacked by the Amalekites? Moses gave instructions for Joshua to pick a group for battle. Moses then went to the top of a hill overlooking the battle with the staff of God in his hand and he raised it high. If you read in Exodus 17, you will find that as long as Moses held the staff high the Israelites were winning the battle, but as soon as he lowered his staff the Amalekites began to have victory.

My friend is in a battle. A battle of trust, faith, and complete dependence on the Lord. She is powerless and defeated without perseverance in faith, trust, and the sovereignty of our great God.

But sometimes, she gets tired. Her fears and doubts make her faith weak and that’s when brothers and sisters in Christ step forward. You see Moses grew weary. His arms became weak, but Aaron and Hur stepped in to help support his arms. When Moses wanted to faint they held him up. When he grew tired and weary, every fiber of his being screaming to give up, his friends supported him. They helped Moses hold his banner of complete trust and dependence in the Lord high.

“But Moses' hands were heavy. Then they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other. Thus his hands were steady until the sun set.” Exodus 17:12

Are you carrying a heavy load today? Are you losing sight of what a powerful God we serve? Has fear weakened your trust and faith? It’s okay if you have grown weary and tired. Just like Moses had Aaron and Hur, the body of Christ is made to support you, encourage you, stand by you, and lift you up. 

If you will pray a prayer for my friend. You don’t know her, but she needs some Aaron & Hurs in her life right now. Pray for God’s deliverance. Pray for the enemy to not have a single foothold to stand on and for truth to win.

Thank you so much sweet friends. We are the body of Christ. We are his hands and feet. Every prayer matters. Thank you for helping me and my friend carry this load.