Seasons Come and Go

I always feel a bit anxious when my children are about to enter into a new stage of life. I begin to feel nervous about the future and the whole “letting go” part. I start to reminisce on the joy of the present stage and dread the arrival of the next--- until God intervenes and brings unspeakable joy.

This recently happened between my youngest and I. My youngest, my baby, is headed off to Kindergarten in a few short months. To be honest, I have wanted to keep her little.  I have so enjoyed her Pre-K years that the thought of leaving them behind leaves me teary eyed and sad.

I felt this way with my first two children as well, and until recently forgot what a beautiful life lesson I learned about letting go and moving on to the next season of life.

When God moves our children and ourselves from one season to the next, there is always something just as beautiful about the next season that we would miss if we stayed in our present state.

Let me explain. I have adored having my baby at home. I have enjoyed the toddler and pre-k years. And then recently, like someone flipping a switch, she has started to make connections. All the things we have been teaching her are starting to come together and bring delight and joy to her heart and ours. This would not happen and we would not experience this joy if the seasons never changed. 

For example, she is learning to read. All the letter sounds, and vowel sounds, are beginning to make connections and she is ECSTATIC. To watch her read a word and figure out what it spells gives her the biggest smile. She loves it! And I do too!

And then spiritually speaking, we have taught her about the bible, and Jesus, and God’s word since she was born. I have whispered Jesus loves you more times than I can count into her ear. I have prayed and spoken scripture into her life since she was born. But all of a sudden, the connections are coming together in the most beautiful and precious moments.

She recently asked if God could hear and see everything. I said yes He can. She paused and then said out loud, “God? {brief pause} Hello?” And then looked at me and said, “He didn’t answer?” I explained about prayer and how God doesn’t always speak verbally out loud like Mommy or Daddy, but if you say something to him with a heart of prayer and listen carefully inside your heart he will speak to you.   She thought for a minute, and then very seriously, looked to the side and said, “God, I love you.”  She was very still and silent for a moment, looking down with deep concentration, and then she raised her face with excitement and deep joy and said, “MOMMA! I heard him! He said He loves me too!!!”

These tender moments remind me of the joy of letting our children grow. I am reminded of the saying, “Let Go, and Let God”. It can be tough at times on a Mothers heart to let go, but God always comes through for me too. He NEVER changes. He gives me sweet moments that remind me I truly would never want to hold my kids back. I would never want to keep them from moving on to the next season. Because with the change of seasons comes new life and fresh fruit.

Thank you Lord for being so good to us. Thank you for helping us through each season of life. Thank you for the outpouring of your Spirit and love. Thank you for redeeming us and giving us new life through the cross.  You are my greatest source of joy and I love you.

Praying God's Word

When my words cannot formulate my hearts cry and prayer, 

the scriptures never fail. 

Praying God's word into my life this morning. 

For seeking guidance, instruction, direction…

For the waiting and hoping heart….

For encouragement….

My Scripture Prayer from the Psalms

Your face Lord, do I seek. Hide not your face from me.  27:9

Teach me your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path.  27:11

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord  27:14

The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped. 28:7

Be {my} Shepherd and carry {me} forever. 28:9

O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!” 30:12

You are my rock and my fortress; and for Your names sake you lead me and guide me. 31:3

I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hand. 31:14

Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind. 31:19

Blessed be the Lord, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me. 31:21

Love the Lord, all you his saints. 31:23

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. 32:8

Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield; For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you. 33:20-22

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Swept Away

Lately, I have been swept away. 

There is really no other word for it. This is a full time of year for us. You see we have three children. And we allow each child to do one extra-curricular activity in the Spring. We set aside Fall for a focused fresh start to school and of course church activities always abound. But, in the Spring months of March/April/May we give them each an opportunity to explore their interests—by selecting 1 extra-curricular activity.

Currently, I have one child in gymnastics, another in baseball, and another in softball(t-ball).

This makes my week very full.

*Monday night one practice

*Tuesday night another practice

*Wednesday night Church activities

*Thursday night host an in home bible study

 Then it’s the weekend.

*Friday/Saturday (sometimes includes games/practices)

*Sunday- worship/Church

(whew!)

Here is what I know.  I do not thrive on go, go, go. I do not like rush, busy, get out the door, chauffeur here and there monotony. I like down time with my family. I like it to just be us sometimes. I enjoy a quiet afternoon of homework, outside play, dinner, and maybe an episode of I Love Lucy.

But despite what I like. My husband and I both love to watch our kids grow and develop new talents. We find joy in their attempts and as swept away as we are with activities, we are more swept away in the joy that Christ gives by parenting them. Praising them, teaching them, encouraging them, and loving them.

We are not mentally, physically, spiritually, and financially capable of providing this kind of extra fun on this level, year round, so it is best for our household to limit this fun beautiful whirlwind to three months out of the year.

And here is what I am learning.

When I am tired and dread another trip to the ball-field---to replace that thought with what I get to do.

Many of my dear friends would love to be caught up in the extra-curricular whirlwind but they can’t.

I have a couple of friends who are currently in the whirlwind activity of chemo treatments, appointments, hospital trips, and medicine charts. (And I’m sure they could list about 100 more things to that list that only a parent with an ill child can describe).  Another who spends most her nights awake monitoring fevers and praying. The list could go on.

Some are longing to hold their children, but the road to infertility is left them aching.

Some are holding on to memories, and wishing they could only go back and enjoy that whirlwind once more.

In honor and respect to these amazing people, I choose to enjoy, savor, and thank God for these long days. And when I even begin to think I’m too tired, I hope to replace that with a prayer, for those brothers and sisters in Christ, fellow parents who truly know what tired looks like.

We each have unique lives and experiences and only by seeking God’s direction can we decide what is best for our individual families.  I pray that you feel free to do what God is leading you to do. The pressure to push play at every opportunity is glaring. My kids could stay busy year round if we said yes to everything. But sometimes we have to take a stand and say no.

I pray before all else in our lives, we are first and foremost Swept Away by the love of Jesus Christ. We let him lead and direct our lives. We seek and inquire from his word. And we do our very best to serve and honor Him.

Can I sit with You?

If I could just sit with you a while, if you could just hold me.

When I was a young high school girl I remember attending a summer camp in Glorieta, New Mexico called Centrifuge.  At this camp the worship band introduced to me for the very first time a song called, If I Could Just sit with you awhile. I bought the camp c.d. and listened to the song over and over and over again.

For me, this song spoke to my tender, teenage heart. I was always a girl who wanted to be held. I clearly remember as a small child taking my Moms hand and asking if she would just sit and hold me for a little while. And of course she always would. I was never afraid to climb in to my Dad’s lap either to be held. It was just always who I was.  And somehow over the years of growing in my faith, I had never considered climbing into my Heavenly Fathers lap. Leaning back against his chest. Resting in the steady, unchanging rhythm of his breath. Feeling utterly secure that He was in control and had all things in his hands.

And so, this new form of prayer and worship began in my life. I found a quiet spot and learned to rest in his faithfulness. I learned to lean on Him. I began to breathe deeply and rest securely in his love for me.

Then, as the years went by, I remember one particular day when I had been married for less than five years and was the young mother of two lively toddlers.  All of life became, well, a bit overwhelming. I struggled and wrestled to be the Mother I dreamed of being. I fought for control like you can’t imagine. I worked and gave until I had nothing left to give from my own strength. Things were not going as I had imagined they would. The children were found to be a little more difficult than I thought and as hard as I tried, everything was out of my control. I adored them and did everything I could by the book, but still things were not going as smoothly as I hoped. I had one child with re-occurring ear infections that despite everything would not go away (six surgeries). Another who was strong-willed and difficult to please. Yes, there were many joyous days, but it was a difficult season for this young mother fighting for control.  And then one day I sat and I cried. And as I sat, the words “Lord, If I could just sit with you a while, if you could just hold me” played into my heart from years ago. It became my cry and prayer “Lord, If I could just sit with you a while, if you could just hold me.”

When I cannot feel, when my wounds don't heal
Lord I humbly kneel, hidden in You
Lord, You are my life so I don't mind to die
Just as long as I am hidden in You

If I could just sit with You a while, if You could just hold me
Nothing could touch me though I'm wounded, though I die
If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by

When I know I've sinned when I should have been
Crying out my God and hidden in you
Lord I need you now, more than I know how
So I humbly bow, hidden in you

If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me

Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by

And that very day I was reminded again who really was in control.  I woke up to the fact that I, Katy, had been trying to do so much on my own strength. I let it all go. I placed everything into the palm of God’s hand. And I surrendered to the amazing goodness that Jesus offers.

We can hang on so tightly to our plans. We can strive diligently to drive and control this life we live. However, that does nothing but lead us to the end of our rope. And guess what I found? When I let go, I found that I was never really holding on to anything at all. The whole time, Jesus was carrying me. He always has. He holds me up. He carries me. He is everything to me. And ‘till forever passes by I plan to spend moment by moment being held by the only one that is able.

Let go, surrender,trust. Lay it all down.

I don’t know what you are going through today,but if you are carrying some burdens that are too heavy to bear or you feel overwhelmed by your circumstances-- Lay it down. Place it in the hands of our ever capable Savior. If you find yourself picking it back up, just lay it right back down. He is faithful. He will carry you.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his
mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great
is your faithfulness.

Lamentations
3:22-23

If you would like to listen to this song played by Mercy Me just click play and rest in His presence.