Can I sit with You?

If I could just sit with you a while, if you could just hold me.

When I was a young high school girl I remember attending a summer camp in Glorieta, New Mexico called Centrifuge.  At this camp the worship band introduced to me for the very first time a song called, If I Could Just sit with you awhile. I bought the camp c.d. and listened to the song over and over and over again.

For me, this song spoke to my tender, teenage heart. I was always a girl who wanted to be held. I clearly remember as a small child taking my Moms hand and asking if she would just sit and hold me for a little while. And of course she always would. I was never afraid to climb in to my Dad’s lap either to be held. It was just always who I was.  And somehow over the years of growing in my faith, I had never considered climbing into my Heavenly Fathers lap. Leaning back against his chest. Resting in the steady, unchanging rhythm of his breath. Feeling utterly secure that He was in control and had all things in his hands.

And so, this new form of prayer and worship began in my life. I found a quiet spot and learned to rest in his faithfulness. I learned to lean on Him. I began to breathe deeply and rest securely in his love for me.

Then, as the years went by, I remember one particular day when I had been married for less than five years and was the young mother of two lively toddlers.  All of life became, well, a bit overwhelming. I struggled and wrestled to be the Mother I dreamed of being. I fought for control like you can’t imagine. I worked and gave until I had nothing left to give from my own strength. Things were not going as I had imagined they would. The children were found to be a little more difficult than I thought and as hard as I tried, everything was out of my control. I adored them and did everything I could by the book, but still things were not going as smoothly as I hoped. I had one child with re-occurring ear infections that despite everything would not go away (six surgeries). Another who was strong-willed and difficult to please. Yes, there were many joyous days, but it was a difficult season for this young mother fighting for control.  And then one day I sat and I cried. And as I sat, the words “Lord, If I could just sit with you a while, if you could just hold me” played into my heart from years ago. It became my cry and prayer “Lord, If I could just sit with you a while, if you could just hold me.”

When I cannot feel, when my wounds don't heal
Lord I humbly kneel, hidden in You
Lord, You are my life so I don't mind to die
Just as long as I am hidden in You

If I could just sit with You a while, if You could just hold me
Nothing could touch me though I'm wounded, though I die
If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by

When I know I've sinned when I should have been
Crying out my God and hidden in you
Lord I need you now, more than I know how
So I humbly bow, hidden in you

If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me

Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by

And that very day I was reminded again who really was in control.  I woke up to the fact that I, Katy, had been trying to do so much on my own strength. I let it all go. I placed everything into the palm of God’s hand. And I surrendered to the amazing goodness that Jesus offers.

We can hang on so tightly to our plans. We can strive diligently to drive and control this life we live. However, that does nothing but lead us to the end of our rope. And guess what I found? When I let go, I found that I was never really holding on to anything at all. The whole time, Jesus was carrying me. He always has. He holds me up. He carries me. He is everything to me. And ‘till forever passes by I plan to spend moment by moment being held by the only one that is able.

Let go, surrender,trust. Lay it all down.

I don’t know what you are going through today,but if you are carrying some burdens that are too heavy to bear or you feel overwhelmed by your circumstances-- Lay it down. Place it in the hands of our ever capable Savior. If you find yourself picking it back up, just lay it right back down. He is faithful. He will carry you.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his
mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great
is your faithfulness.

Lamentations
3:22-23

If you would like to listen to this song played by Mercy Me just click play and rest in His presence.