Bitter, Better, or Butter?

A few days ago my oldest daughter came home from school upset. She had experienced a little dose of life being unfair, and her heart was frustrated, upset, and a little angry.

To be honest, my Momma Bear heart started to get angry too, and I wanted to turn my car around and make sure this situation never happened again. (It really was not even that big of a deal, but you know how a Mom’s emotional heart can sometimes react).  I took a few moments to gather my emotions, silently listened to God and prayed for an appropriate response, and he began to awaken my heart.

Life is just not fair. It throws bad things on good people. It doesn’t care who you are, at some point life can hit you like a brick with a dose of unfair reality.  It doesn’t matter if you are nine or ninety, we all experience times when we fill mistreated, forgotten, overlooked, or burned. But, thank heavens that my precious nine-year-old has the opportunity to learn and practice today how God desires for her to respond to life’s hurts. As a mom, who has had to practice life being unfair too, I had the divine appointment to teach her how to respond today and in the future when some of life’s more hurtful events might hit her.

I first asked her to tell me how often this situation has happened. Was this the first time? Much like her Mother we can magnify a molehill into a mountain, so gaining perspective is key to understanding how to move forward.

Second, I asked her to take a look at her offender. Could this person possibly have been frustrated, tired, or hurting? What if they had a really bad day and sadly took it out on the wrong person. Have we ever done that? Can we forgive them and offer grace? Can we do something to show them love and encouragement, because maybe that’s the real issue. Maybe THEY need something. Try to look at this person through the lens of love, grace, and forgiveness.

Lastly, I told her every time life is unfair we have two options. We can get bitter or better. We can stay mad, choose not to forgive, look at them with dislike, and in the end poison ourselves with resentment. Hurting ourselves, our relationship with God, and others.

OR, we can choose to get better. We can ask God to teach us through this awful, terrible, unfair moment, so this experience does not go to waste. We can learn, grow, take notes, and get better by the grace, love, and strength our God promises. We can forgive, continue to show love, and watch God work in our lives.

Gratefully, she chose to get better. I watched her perspective change and God wash the anger away. Oh how I love her! So thankful she is attentive to God!!

The following evening, we were discussing the above life lesson at dinner with the whole family, and my son half paying attention looked up from his bowl of spaghetti and said, “What? You get bitter or butter?” We laughed and explained the lesson on life again, but as I cleaned up dishes, God reminded me that really we do sometimes choose butter.

You know, the choice to not get bitter, not get better, but instead to fill our lives with something superficial to block the pain. We choose to just not deal with it. We lazily decide it’s not worth dealing with so we fill the broken emptiness with…. butter. You know, those things in life that temporarily block the pain, sweeten your taste for a fleeting moment. Maybe it’s a drink, a smoke, a snort, a pill. Maybe it’s temporary comfort in the arms of the wrong person. Maybe it’s filling your void with mindless entertainment. It could be other things too. Even good things. You might work non-stop, hunt, golf, shop, or dive head first into something with so much focus that you push the pain aside, leaving it to sit on the back shelf and rot.

The problem, is eventually that pain on the back shelf will start rot and stink. And we know when something rots, everyone around smells it too. Our sins not only hurt us, but those around us. Is there something you are dealing with that you have pushed aside and left to rot? Are you struggling with forgiveness? Do you have bitterness that has turned into resentment? Whatever life has thrown at you; I pray that you take time in prayer to let God help you. It’s not easy! I know! But it's possible with a God who gives you strength. Each day we choose; and for some of us it's a daily battle. Put on your armor and fight! Let's choose to get Better through Christ Jesus.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.  Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:6-8